paiseh for the photo quality.

hellos.

stephanie asked me to join sm and her to find job at causeway point.
and i rejected the offer cos i simply felt HEAVY.
actual fact, i felt lethargic and restless.
and it is true i felt heavy, not weight wise,
heart wise.

nowadays, sad, sappy, long songs makes me feel sick to the stomach.
i listen to them grudgingly on my mp3 that i decided to give up
and go for upbeat songs.now i keep listening to songs from boa, every little thing,
all american rejects and blahs.
and they really put me in a better mood, without having to listen to that depreciating voice in my head, repeating words of discouragement when im at my weakest.

two months was how long it took for me to hold back everything.
and yesterday, i couldnt take it anymore.
hahahah no worries, i didnt attempt suicide. IM NOT THAT DUMB.
but sometimes, when these things happen,
you feel like life is so meaningless for a second.
and then when you think about those who love and care for you,
life seems more meaningful than ever. more colourful i should say.
is like they create the rainbows in your sky, or make you feel you are not alone in this.
im so dramatic.

i could say a thousand words of sorrow, anger.
i could call someone now, and cry over the phone.
but it wont change anything. the emotions wont linger.


i may live in the past, with the past.
but that's the way it is.
people may think im overreacting or what so ever.
but....you know what... WHATEVER.


***

yesterday was a blast with the zoo gang.
was made fun of by everyone, including louis(?) who works there.
he is a zookeeper...right? i am so not sure.
anyways, cos my hair was in such a mess it looked like a horrible bird nest,
all of them decided to call me ah ma. esp alex.
hence, my name has been changed, my age has changed.
but they are great fun. a bundle of wholesome fun.

after that, headed to steph's house to play monopoly.
well we all went kinda mad you know.
i was practically screaming the whole time,
either cos someone stepped into one of the MRT stations (i owned three)
or someone NEARLY stepped into my parliament house and asian civilisation musuems(both had a house each inside).
cos if they did, i would be earning bucks!!! grrrr..
anyways, i joined allies with nat and alex, while gwt and steph joined.
and we won~. hahaha.

childish you may call it, but at least they make life happy:)



i may have broken ur promise, but you have broken my heart.thank you.