zombie face

small eyes small mouth

big eyes big mouth

small eyes big mouth.

big eyes small mouth

two children. very cute children


carissa. she was amazed by the flash of my cam.
so she stopped crying.

still amazed. not as much.

her face is like 'so boring'

starts to cry cos she is hungry.
she drinks alot of milk man. big appetite

glam moment

look at her cheeks and lips! so CUTE!




I LOVE MY COUSINS!!!!

my mum was correct. i should stop thinking for others.
and start thinking for myself.

just now, i was editing some of my zilians(pardon me)
and im like....nobody reads my blog, so who cares.
in addition, why do i need to put a 'pretty' picture of myself?
just so i can show some readers that im like.... not ugly?
ahahas.

u dont have to be the prettiest to put ur own face on blog:D makes sense!





this is the pic that i initially wanna put on blog.
zzzz. i hear u snoring.

" i thought about how often this was needed
in everyday life.how we feel lonely, sometimes to the
point of tears, but we don't let those tears come out
because we are not supposed to cry. or how we
feel a surge of love for a partner but we don't say
anything because we are frozen with the fear of
what those words might do to the relationship"

mitch albom.
adapted from tuesdays with morrie

there was this aunty who stared at me.
i was eating a nice bowl of fish noodles.
she stared at me. stare stare stare.
and....smiled.

CREEPY SIOL!!!

you dont have to be the most gorgeous girl to feel more confident.
you dont need to have the sexiest body to feel more confident.
you dont need to wish you had those alluring eyes to feel more confident.
you dont need to wish that your legs will thinner to feel more confident.
you dont need to wish to be the prettiest to feel more confident.
you dont need to wish your waist was smaller to feel more confident.
you dont need to wish to have the most beautiful hair to feel more confident.

and...


you dont need to change yourself to feel more confident




i shall embark on a new journey.capital N capital J

paiseh for the photo quality.

hellos.

stephanie asked me to join sm and her to find job at causeway point.
and i rejected the offer cos i simply felt HEAVY.
actual fact, i felt lethargic and restless.
and it is true i felt heavy, not weight wise,
heart wise.

nowadays, sad, sappy, long songs makes me feel sick to the stomach.
i listen to them grudgingly on my mp3 that i decided to give up
and go for upbeat songs.now i keep listening to songs from boa, every little thing,
all american rejects and blahs.
and they really put me in a better mood, without having to listen to that depreciating voice in my head, repeating words of discouragement when im at my weakest.

two months was how long it took for me to hold back everything.
and yesterday, i couldnt take it anymore.
hahahah no worries, i didnt attempt suicide. IM NOT THAT DUMB.
but sometimes, when these things happen,
you feel like life is so meaningless for a second.
and then when you think about those who love and care for you,
life seems more meaningful than ever. more colourful i should say.
is like they create the rainbows in your sky, or make you feel you are not alone in this.
im so dramatic.

i could say a thousand words of sorrow, anger.
i could call someone now, and cry over the phone.
but it wont change anything. the emotions wont linger.


i may live in the past, with the past.
but that's the way it is.
people may think im overreacting or what so ever.
but....you know what... WHATEVER.


***

yesterday was a blast with the zoo gang.
was made fun of by everyone, including louis(?) who works there.
he is a zookeeper...right? i am so not sure.
anyways, cos my hair was in such a mess it looked like a horrible bird nest,
all of them decided to call me ah ma. esp alex.
hence, my name has been changed, my age has changed.
but they are great fun. a bundle of wholesome fun.

after that, headed to steph's house to play monopoly.
well we all went kinda mad you know.
i was practically screaming the whole time,
either cos someone stepped into one of the MRT stations (i owned three)
or someone NEARLY stepped into my parliament house and asian civilisation musuems(both had a house each inside).
cos if they did, i would be earning bucks!!! grrrr..
anyways, i joined allies with nat and alex, while gwt and steph joined.
and we won~. hahaha.

childish you may call it, but at least they make life happy:)



i may have broken ur promise, but you have broken my heart.thank you.

' there couldnt be just one side to a problem.
just which side is more'

hi.

im currently in the unstable state of mind.
not the kind when i-take-out-a-penknife-and-start-shredding my-skin-apart.
just like, gosh, it's like im stuck in the world of confusion.
permanently. big time.

does anybody know the dilemma of having to hear things u never wanted to hear,
despite knowing it will happens and that it is natural?
well im going thru that right now.
actually for a long while.11 months to be exact.
and seriously, it is sickening, tiring.

not many will understand what im going thru until they hear of it.
well of course i cant just VOMIT out my emo-est thoughts on this blog,
for they will invite loads of trouble and shitty rumours.
and i might be in the centre of attention. whatever.
I DONT GIVE A SHIT TO THOSE WHO WANNA JUDGE ME.
go ahead and be judgmental. i dont give a hoot. ANYMORE

people make mistakes. even i do make mistakes.
i have been guilty of creating problems and
i would apologise. i would.

sighs im stopping here cos im really getting emotional.that's a bad sign.

i have never blamed u from the start

it's never gonna end isnt it?


it laid a mark on my heart.and it would never be erased.

im chatting with lots of people:)


and thank you, yong thai for making my day.
best god brother:)


and today, i have many to thank.
chatting with them makes me happy.
esp my asyiqin baby doodoogagadollie(where did that came from?)
and u know what, they are really good people.


and a friendship is reborn. again:)
im really grateful i took that step.
and made the biggest climb(well, sort of lah)


entitled to freedom. PEACE Y'ALL! by the way i didnt complain to everyone.

hi

its been a long time ever since idunnowhen i blogged.

retaking chinese tmr and the nerves....grrrr.
actually, im not that nervous.
i dont anticipate to score an A for it cos it is OBVIOUSLY impossible.
hahas. but yet i want to get one.

cos you know, i can shove the report card into teachers' faces.
and HAHAHA at them. just so i can enjoy that one moment of them being dumbfounded.
something along that line i guess.
i mean, imagine their faces. like stoned.

LOLS.

i dont have a life during the course of studying for Os.
i study till late night, and the pimples and zits and whatever keep popping out.
very frustrating you know. like wahlau, it is GOODNESSME pimple!!!
yucks.


but now my skin is pretty clear of pimples.
hahaha.

my god what the hell am i typing.
im feeling confused about many things(confounded, you can say)
yet im talking about my pimpleless face.
hoho what a fulfiling life.

anyways so many things have happen
the truths are out. and im blowned away.
wish i could just blast off to some other planet.
be away from this word 'thinking'.
but...haiya. no point running away.
running aimlessly brings us nowhere.
so why not face the music? and maybe cry a little.
at least i know i have faced it.

i have many opinions on the issues.
and sometimes, people dont even know what i feel, what im going thru,
then they misjudge me for being too...hmm... overboard i guess.
but the thing is, they only see a side of e story.
lets compare this to a beautiful leaf.

what they see is the beautiful texture of the leaf,
its striking colour and smoothness.
but what they dont know, is that on the other side of the leaf,
it is rotten, dark and unwanted.

all they see , is just ONE angle of everything,
without even wanting to approach the whole thing from other angles.

but i cant really blame them. cos they dont know.
so i cant just be angry at them for having their opinion.
it was never their fault to start with.
anyways i wouldnt want them to know what my deepest. innermost thoughts are.

but cant help feeling indignant.

lets put that aside(:(:(:(:

i am very grateful to my friends who consistently help and aide me.
and always there to say words of comfort. soothes me a lot.

i know i have made mistakes that i will always condone.
but i just dont know why i cant concentrate on the good things.
maybe im selfish,thoughtless,reckless and such.
i cant seem to point my stupid finger at the crux of the problem.

maybe i just dont want to face it.
im probably not ready.

im such a coward. lols

pity me.


no wait, dont.(:(:



BYEXZXZXXXX

i see chinese hw on litespeed.

im having homebase learning from saturday till sunday.

im staring at the com like an idiot.


wait...i am an idiot.a full-time noobster who has to keep asking people how to do this and that.
and i realised some homework has to be done on foolscap and some have to be done thru typing and submission.i really dunno which is which. gah. will the flying angels save my pathetic horrible heart????? cos i think im gonna get a heart attack doing all this crap homework.


and my eyes are glued onto the tv.
BOYS OVER FLOWERS!
hahahas lee min ho!!!! he is so hot, i could melt just standing beside him.
hahas radiation from him. *gling gling*

that was a sound effect.go figure

today , i was pretty unglam at the prata shop cos of sth.
not mentioning a single hint of it. so there's no point asking me,
cos my LIPS ARE SEALED. tightly i tell you.

back to where i was,
was just angry and all about SOMETHING.
but like what yp said, im not the kind who gets depressed!
ahahas so nth can bring this obnoxiously crazy girl down to the pits of hell(:
hahas im not so kong xian emo whole day.
got way better things to do and think and do and think.

my mind is flooded with maths equations, plane geometry. the blahblahs.
my calculations are getting faster , dunno why.
must be due to the overload of homework from school.
stupid O levels, hahas! but will strive for victory!

my head itchy leh. dunno why.
i dont have dandruff, mind you.
only mindless blobs would think that way;/


im hungry. i need mamee monster.
im gonna start on my homework. emaths first, geo next


ss can go die.
stupid much, so much to do >:/




and you know, you are not the boss of this.
so dont expect sth to happen.


and asyiqin, u are the sexiest funniest sarcaticist(?) girl ever!
i love you, i mean it.
i love you bollocks(:(:(:

so CHEER UP, cos if not, im gonna make u wear some stuff to make u smile the whole day(:


guilt trip. i did the dumbest thing today: thinking.

la la ala la la.


im blogging again,

hello my blog! miss me horrrhhhzzhzhzzxxccccz
miss me so much righttzzxzxxccxcxx?
i love you, you know right???


hahas see im totally being lame here.
fun eh.

HUHUHUGAGAGAGA. SHAKE BUTTTTTT.



BOLLOCKS!!!!! ()()


actually, im super bored.
idk what to type to fill up the post.
and i just did my essay hw.
ze storyline is really really dumb.

my nose very itchy now seh.
got inspiration inside. HOHO!

last thurs was the bomb!
SO SO FUUN to be with my friends!! i love them alot you know.
*blows kisses to them*


*sneeze*

*sneezes ten times*

*looks up to the ceiling*

*has another sneezing marathon*


huishi:YO sm goh!
S.M.Goh :wa act
S.M.Goh:act yi ge



=.=


ok hafiz just asked me to go update my blog,

hafiz:haha. ya, can you update ur blog?
hafiz:just type hi or sth.
hafiz. says:hahahaha.
huishi:im blogging!



ok now, i shall say hi.


HI


hahas random much.



wahlauwe idk what to type now.
hmmm
today was not a good day.i woke up feeling sleepier than ever.
maybe it is cos TMR IS THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL:(((

hahahs im not done with homework yet. later chiongzzxzxxz.
huishi=act yi ge?? hahahs just kidding.


S.M.Goh:lol bhb
huishi:hahas u right?
S.M.Goh :of course i very bhb one
huishi:hahahs WOW. im so happy for you now


talking so S.M.goh is fun. very lame.
you know, last time i thought he was the kind who is very anti-sociable.


tian mi mi, ni xiao de tian mi mi

sms 81550433

format: A8

vote tmr from 5 to 7!!!!!

hahas e blog is dead, so advertise like also no use.
hoho. just trying my luck.


and thanks steph for being such a darling for spreading the word!
me love you. muacks muacks.

totallly acting cute here,

chio hor?
unfinished sketch(:


i stood there

my kyo and tohru. lolers.


i have a bloody fringe(: yays
and it has grown longer.:(

i want mangoes. i love them like crazy.
i want to swim in mango juice and eat them everyday.

andand steph and i held hands during the 2.4km run.
khairul said we looked like primary school children.
hohohoho.

and stephanie tan is the sexiest friend ever cos she pushed me to run faster.
and we finished the run together. gahahoheehu.
16min 58 seconds.
steph kept insisting it was 17 min, but i kept arguing with her that telling people
we ran 2.4 in 16min58sec sounds nicer than 17min. sounds more shiok, you know.
hoho ego boostttttt. hahas what the heck am i talking?


im so bored right now, yawns.
i have amaths supp tmr(: yays can see mdm wu(:
she is the loveliest amaths teacher(:(:



oh and asyiqin, i love youu too(:(:



tongues :P

hellos!

yesterday was great with classmates in supp.
met asyiqin at JE library to study.
actually didnt exactly studied, we talked about a lot of issues,
new chapters of our lives and those in the past.(wth)
told her some stuff that has made me feel so much better,
like a huge huge heavy piece of rock have been removed from my heart.
but after hearing some things, i was so tempted to do some slapping and scolding.
sexybabe told me to calm down. sweet asyiqin.
but im still pretty pissed.
idk how to say. very complicated. but i know it irks me to know that
people DO judge on your social STATUS(or whatever it is) thru the way you DRESS.
i shall end this paragraph this way.

after leaving the library, met edwin at jp. SUYUPING could not come
so i had to suffer my whole day with edwin. :(
hoho no lah.didnt catch any movie cos we missed the timeslot and the tickets were almost sold .
'sides, had no mood to watch. i just wanted to talk.
talk talk talk at dessert shop, treated him to durian with pomelo sago while i slowly ate my double boiled milk with mango juice. woohooo(:(:
we gossiped alot i guessed, talk about the most random things ever.
and somemore talk until night time. lolers.

watched shinjiku incident with family on fridayyy.
daniel wu is so so hot. so so so hot i tell you.
and his facial expressions are so so so gooodddddd.
AAAHHHHH X FACTOR!!!!


went to the school dentist. he said i have great gums and teeth.
properly taken care of. HOO-ray.

eye-lashes: 1.3cm long. ROFL.

body language is very important. it shows a mood of a person.


it sucks to be taking in all the shit but the blame shouldnt be shouldered by you.
it sucks to be insulted so so so indirectly
it sucks to feel inferior and so so ordinary .
it sucks to know you cant do anything unless you are courageous to step up, do sth that might have adverse changes in your life.
it sucks to know that without the bad, the good will never appear.
it sucks to know that good and bad are always together
it sucks to know too much of the truth.
it sucks even more when you want to know the whole truth that kills.

now i know it feels like to be confused.
to walk aimlessly in circles but yet being aware of what's ahead of you
hearing snippets of conversations of others but you just cant seem to make them out.
to feel very tired and light-headed yet alert

hahas. im mad. like a donkey eating meat(?)
wells, i hope eventually god can place the answers into my hands.
right now, im a very lost person. very very lost.




guilt trip. and screw the internet.

nice picture of me with the flower. haha



havent been blogging for centuries, well at least to me.
meet-the-parents session was ok.
mdm pamela said i have potential, but am too relaxed.
she even said im one of the smarter ones. hoho.
what an honour(:

im doing something funny, exciting and pretty weird.
my first time doing this.

i saw a cat eat a lizard. shock shock horror horror

im thinking of taking down my blog. snores.
boring life.


my cough is back. hallelujah. stupid cough.
stupid blocked lungs.
now when i sing, my voice will really uisdadsbfrbekhfncjkdbufdhfd.
like shit like that. even ricia said my voice changed cos more out of tune.

blue cross is scary. im not saying that out of disgust.i dont look down on them or anything.
i was just shocked. i was definitely not prepared to see
a penis. yes a guy stripped his pants down and i saw everything.
EVERYTHING. and i was freaking out. i didnt go ballistic or whatever.
just turned my head and hide behind winanto and ricia.
grrrrrr the thought gives me the shivers.



haiya i dowan to type leh. sighs.
hope my physics test can do well.:(

ciao!

my throat is killing me.

cant talk, cant eat comfortably, cant even drink water.
my fever is back .again. the horror.
now im taking a different antibiotic, which is horribly big and disgustingly bitter.

ytd was fun with e guys and steph. went to bubbletea shop to chat
and i ended up laughing until my throat got really painful.

today went to school with lethargy. so damn restless.
i didnt feel like talking to anyone cos if i did, my throat and ears will ache damn badly.
didnt go for art club cos i was feeling really sick.blahblahblah.

i feel bad for asyiqin. i didnt do any card for her beforehand cos i was pretty sick.
wanted to wish her happy birthday at midnight, but plan got interrupted by sth.
so i smsed her in the morning. haha love you babe!

have been taking cough syrup and flu medicine, the kind that makes u drowsy.
everything in my head will emptied to idunnowhere, and the sleepiness starts to kick in.
i cant believe i nearly called hafiz a stupid idiot when he called me.
i didnt even know he called until he told me yesterday. i thought he was some advertiser=.=

my mind is floating around.i hope my fever subsides, then can go out with my dear asyiqin.
shopping spree! lols. maybe i will come up with a good plan. like enjoy ourselves. hmmmm.
with what eh? hmmmmmmmm.
see lah huishi, bodoh.never take care of yourself. sick until cant come up with a wonderful idea that will make everybody gasp and faint.

how arr? i really cant think of anything. all im thinking about are beds.
and dont think the sick way.


snores.


oh ya .

happy birthday asyiqin, brandon and yvonne.
stay happy and cute and funny and whatever you are.
can watch NC16 movies seh. shoot the moon!
go jiggle jiggle the buttocks(:

im bored.


im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored
im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored.


im bored.



somebody entertain me. boohoo.


oh and i ate 40 over prawns,10 chicken wings, lots of carbos, lots of veges, lots of pineapple tarts, bowls of soup, lota of abalone and pacific clams during the cny holidays.
elastic tummy.



my throat is burning. stupid throat. it inflammed my ears and nose(according to the doc)
it is hell swallowing water. boooooo.


aiya my sister just put my chocolates away.
she saw me nibbling on one of it...so she went to confiscate the whole box from me.
wth. this morning, she even reprimanded me for eating grapes!
and said that im more disobedient than timothy=.=

every girl will be a bitch one day (?)

im biting my nails and i cant stop. bad habits die hard , dont they?
i hope my mum wont catch me biting them. she finds it annoying.
and very not ladylike(:(: haha whatevers~

ponyo ponyo ponyo.
i want to watch the movie. oooo ponyo ponyo ponyo...

you know, i would love to have a baby girl with curly locks.
i will dress her up like a princess.
i will make sure her hair is perfect everyday.
i will make sure her hair is long and bouncy(:(:(:
i will use pink ribbons to tie her hair into many nice patterns.

if i had a boy, i would just want him to be a normal boy.
play sports, be healthy, good grades.
i dunnno lah. i cant dress a boy up as well as a i dress a girl.
hmmmmmmm......

my blog is dead. hallelujah , praise the lord.
school is fun with the guys. they always talk nonsense
which never fail to keep steph and i entertained. without them,
life would be so bland. lols.i feel like im writing a love letter. wth.

i feel my legs are getting bigger.
every time i look into the mirror, my leg just looks...bigger!
like huge and all. and bulky. i dont know whats wrong.
when i look at the christmas photos, my legs look so so big.
god i look like a gorilla with huge chunks of iduunowhat on my legs.
sighs im being slightly paranoid.
and i dont mean to offend anyone(:
god i need a dosage of calm-me-down medicine. grrrrrr.


wahlauweeeeee.


and im not going to RP anymore. lols .