' there couldnt be just one side to a problem.
just which side is more'

hi.

im currently in the unstable state of mind.
not the kind when i-take-out-a-penknife-and-start-shredding my-skin-apart.
just like, gosh, it's like im stuck in the world of confusion.
permanently. big time.

does anybody know the dilemma of having to hear things u never wanted to hear,
despite knowing it will happens and that it is natural?
well im going thru that right now.
actually for a long while.11 months to be exact.
and seriously, it is sickening, tiring.

not many will understand what im going thru until they hear of it.
well of course i cant just VOMIT out my emo-est thoughts on this blog,
for they will invite loads of trouble and shitty rumours.
and i might be in the centre of attention. whatever.
I DONT GIVE A SHIT TO THOSE WHO WANNA JUDGE ME.
go ahead and be judgmental. i dont give a hoot. ANYMORE

people make mistakes. even i do make mistakes.
i have been guilty of creating problems and
i would apologise. i would.

sighs im stopping here cos im really getting emotional.that's a bad sign.

i have never blamed u from the start

it's never gonna end isnt it?


it laid a mark on my heart.and it would never be erased.

im chatting with lots of people:)


and thank you, yong thai for making my day.
best god brother:)


and today, i have many to thank.
chatting with them makes me happy.
esp my asyiqin baby doodoogagadollie(where did that came from?)
and u know what, they are really good people.


and a friendship is reborn. again:)
im really grateful i took that step.
and made the biggest climb(well, sort of lah)


entitled to freedom. PEACE Y'ALL! by the way i didnt complain to everyone.

hi

its been a long time ever since idunnowhen i blogged.

retaking chinese tmr and the nerves....grrrr.
actually, im not that nervous.
i dont anticipate to score an A for it cos it is OBVIOUSLY impossible.
hahas. but yet i want to get one.

cos you know, i can shove the report card into teachers' faces.
and HAHAHA at them. just so i can enjoy that one moment of them being dumbfounded.
something along that line i guess.
i mean, imagine their faces. like stoned.

LOLS.

i dont have a life during the course of studying for Os.
i study till late night, and the pimples and zits and whatever keep popping out.
very frustrating you know. like wahlau, it is GOODNESSME pimple!!!
yucks.


but now my skin is pretty clear of pimples.
hahaha.

my god what the hell am i typing.
im feeling confused about many things(confounded, you can say)
yet im talking about my pimpleless face.
hoho what a fulfiling life.

anyways so many things have happen
the truths are out. and im blowned away.
wish i could just blast off to some other planet.
be away from this word 'thinking'.
but...haiya. no point running away.
running aimlessly brings us nowhere.
so why not face the music? and maybe cry a little.
at least i know i have faced it.

i have many opinions on the issues.
and sometimes, people dont even know what i feel, what im going thru,
then they misjudge me for being too...hmm... overboard i guess.
but the thing is, they only see a side of e story.
lets compare this to a beautiful leaf.

what they see is the beautiful texture of the leaf,
its striking colour and smoothness.
but what they dont know, is that on the other side of the leaf,
it is rotten, dark and unwanted.

all they see , is just ONE angle of everything,
without even wanting to approach the whole thing from other angles.

but i cant really blame them. cos they dont know.
so i cant just be angry at them for having their opinion.
it was never their fault to start with.
anyways i wouldnt want them to know what my deepest. innermost thoughts are.

but cant help feeling indignant.

lets put that aside(:(:(:(:

i am very grateful to my friends who consistently help and aide me.
and always there to say words of comfort. soothes me a lot.

i know i have made mistakes that i will always condone.
but i just dont know why i cant concentrate on the good things.
maybe im selfish,thoughtless,reckless and such.
i cant seem to point my stupid finger at the crux of the problem.

maybe i just dont want to face it.
im probably not ready.

im such a coward. lols

pity me.


no wait, dont.(:(:



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